anna brones

writer + artist + activist

25 Things You Wish You Had Overheard a Foodie Saying

with 3 comments

“All I had to bring was this jar of homemade pickled carrots.”

“Oh the popcorn? Yeah, it’s the truffle oil that does it.”

“It was Sunday. So I got the pan-fried trout.”

These are all direct quotes that I overhead, or caught myself saying, in the last week. If you spend any time around food lovers, or are simply food obsessed yourself, and you will pick up on some humorous things. Absurd even. If fermentinfuse or are co-op are part of your vocabulary, you know what I am talking about. But don’t you just wish that the foodie world would take it to the next level? Here’s what you wish you had overheard.

“We have to harvest our sweat today so that we can make saltedmacarons tomorrow.”

“Your kombucha mother is so beautiful.”

“I finally got into the goat share program.”

“I am my cooking.”

“I couldn’t bear to sleep with him. He couldn’t even pronounce croissant correctly.

“You need marrow? I know a guy with a freezer on the other side of town.”

“We’re a new kind of DIY artisan butcher. We kill the cow in your kitchen so you get to really take part in the process.”

“I only drink a coconut and sparkling water blend. The effervescence seems to help me absorb the potassium better.”

“Is your butter hand churned?”

“I name all of my fresh eggs before I eat them. I find that when my food has a personal identity I enjoy it more.”

“Oh, please don’t take a picture of that, it’s so rude when people photograph during a meal.”

“We’ve been working on recycling the leftover coffee grounds into a new edible body treatment line.”

“This salt must be from the Northeast, I can taste the terroir.”

“Sorry couldn’t meet that deadline, I had a bit of a infusing fruit with fruit issue last night.”

“Don’t worry, I brought my own fennel seeds.”

“Do you think this sangria has too many floral elements in it?”

“I really would have rather had a fried egg in this spicy ramen broththan a poached one.”

“We’re starting a foraging club for weeds and non-native edible plants.”

“Instead of rose petals sprinkled on the floor, he dusted everything with organic spelt flour before proposing.”

“Canning really allows me to get to know my vegetables.”

“The truffle ice cubes were sort of disastrous.”

“I had an allergic reaction from that instant coffee she served me yesterday. The local espresso blend never gives me hives.”

“Does this camembert taste off to you, or has it just been too long since I was in France?”

“I can’t believe I have gone this long without candied thistles in my life.”

“Would it be possible to get that served in a mason jar instead?”

Originally published here

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Written by Anna Brones

August 18, 2012 at 12:46

3 Responses

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  1. Oh I just love this post!! Those truffle ice cubes WERE disasterous!!!

    playfulpantry

    August 18, 2012 at 13:08

    • Hahaha! Thanks!

      Anna

      August 18, 2012 at 17:03

  2. My favorite is :“Don’t worry, I brought my own fennel seeds.”… I think you described my family (my father used to travel with his own olive oil to use on his airplane meal…) Great essay!

    letizia

    August 18, 2012 at 17:28


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